Yes, it's really me - finally!! I MISSED YOU GUYS!! I know I was away a lot longer than I first planned (life has a funny way of screwing up our plans doesn't it?) but I am here and anxious to catch up with all of you.

And I'd like to wish you all much love and many joys in 2009.

I also have to apologize in advance for my mass deletion of journals and deviations on my watch. There are over 5700 deviations and 800 journals so if I want to have any life at all then I'll have to start from scratch. I do plan on making the rounds to see what you've been up to though. (Hopefully something naughty! )

Anyway...there's a new batch of great features and of course what would Monday be without a couple of Haha's?

Boobie vs Willie

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father,
'Dad, how many kinds of boobies are there?
The father, surprised, answers, 'Well, son, there's three kinds of breasts.
In her twenties, a woman's breasts are like melons, round and firm.
In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit.
After sixty, they are like onions.'
'Onions?'
'Yes, you see them and they make you cry.'

This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said,
'Mum, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?'
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers,
'Well dear, a man goes through three phases - each like a different type of tree.
In his twenties, he is like an oak tree, mighty and hard.
In his thirties and forties, it is a birch, flexible but reliable.
After his sixties, it is like a Christmas tree.'
'A Christmas tree?'
'Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration!!!'


Duct Tape

Jack walks into a bar and sees his friend Paul slumped over the bar. He walks over and asks Paul what's wrong.
'Well,' replies Paul, 'You know that beautiful girl at work that I wanted to ask out, but I got an erection every time I saw her?'
'Yes,' replies Jack with a laugh.
'Well,' says Paul, straightening up, 'I finally worked up the courage to ask her out, and she agreed.'
'That's great!' says Jack, 'When are you going out?'
'I went to meet her this evening,' continues Paul, 'but I was worried I'd get an erection again. So I got some duct tape and taped 'it' to my leg, so if I did, it wouldn't show'.
'Sensible' says Jack.
'So I get to her door,' says Paul, 'and I rang her doorbell. She answered it in the sheerest, sexiest, dress you ever saw.'
'And what happened then?'
'I kicked her in the face.'



Have a great week ahead, my lovelies!

Love 'n hugs ~ Miriel





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