Hello out there! Yes, I'm finally back and I missed you all SOOOO much!!! I hope that you are all doing well, feeling fine, and that life is being good to you. I have to apologize right off the bat because when I checked in I had almost 5000 deviations and over 400 journals which of course means there was no way in hell I was going to get through them! So I had to use the delete button and start fresh... I'm sorry for any news/deviations I've missed but I will be visiting your pages though as time permits so that I can take a peek at what you all have been up to!

I shouldn't have any problems now being a regular again although there is still a lot going on right now.
- triple family birthday celebration coming up on Saturday.
- the Christmas boxes have to be sorted through (sacrilege, I know as it's only July!) but there is a LOT of it and it needs to be winnowed down.
- my backyard fence looks like it should be put out of it's misery (it's just a wreck!) so that has to be replaced within the next few weeks.
- I've only managed to paint one bedroom but there's still the rest of the house to contend with.
- I plan to replace the kitchen flooring before September (because it's uugggllyyy!)

I'm not sure why I feel driven to get this place all dolled up. I've also gone through my wardrobe, and coloured & cut my hair! Taking a second look at my future plans is an ongoing process lately too. Hmm, the human psyche is interesting, no?

One mishap I had was with my beloved laptop. It kept shutting down so I took it in to be serviced and they wiped my hard drive!! I lost everything - Photoshop, PaintShopPro, all my original files for my artwork, the massive amount of stock, brushes, plugins, etc. that I'd accumulated over the last couple of years...sigh. I've reinstalled the programs but it's going to take a long time to get everything else (all those resource searches! ) So now when I can afford it I'll be investing in an external hard drive so I never have to go through this again. (Why do we always think it will never happen to us? Foolish, foolish people!)

The contest list is updated once more and the features have been too !!! And yes I know that three of the featured artworks utilize the same stock but they are all beautiful and each different from each other!

And at long last I have new selections in the Monday Hahas...

Word Play

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are this year's {2005} winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus: A person who's both and an asshole.
3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of having sex.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Hipatitis: terminal coolness.
11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
12. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
14. Glibido: All talk and no action.
15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
18. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.



New BMW

A man in his 40s bought a new BMW and was out driving on the interstate at top speed when he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him.

"There's no way they can catch a BMW," he thought to himself and sped up even more.

Then the reality of the situation hit him, "What the heck am I doing?" he thought and pulled over.

The cop came up to him, took his license without a word, and examined it and the car.

"It's been a long day, it is the end of my shift, and it's Friday the 13th. I don't feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go."

The guy thinks for a second and says, "Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back."

"Have a nice weekend," said the officer.



Westjet

A mother and her very young son were flying Westjet Airlines from Ottawa to Calgary. The little boy (who had been looking out the Window) turned to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs, and big cats have baby cats, why don't big airplanes have baby airplanes?"

The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her son to ask the Stewardess. So the boy went down the aisle and asked the stewardess. The Stewardess, who was very busy at the time, smiled and said, "Did your Mom tell you to ask me?"

The boy said, "Yes, she did." "Well, then, you go and tell your Mother that there are no baby airplanes because Westjet always pulls out on time. Have your Mom explain that to you."



Have a wonderful week!

Love 'n hugs ~ Miriel





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